Holidays Gone By

Growing up in Sweden, with Alice Alfonso

Alice Alfonso was born Ellen Maria Alice Wallin in Arvika, Sweden near the Norwegian border, and lived in the neighboring farming village of Speked through secondary school. Her grandfather, and then father, ran the local newspaper, the Arvika News, while her mother managed the small farm where she was raised. Her parents seemed to have worked out a pact, blending city and country life. Her father always wore a suit and tie, except when walking in the woods (he took off his suit coat and tie on those occasions), which became a welcome Sunday afternoon tradition. Her mother worked the farm with their four cows, chickens, and sheep, although she always seemed to have her head in a book when she wasn’t milking a cow!

Alice’s first school experience was a one room school house with 15 children in grades 1-5 (there was only one other student in her first grade class). She discovered that you can learn a lot more in this setting than in a more traditional setting, since the younger children don’t “shut off their ears” when the teacher is teaching astronomy to older students, for example. The teaching method must have worked, because she passed her middle school entrance exam with flying colors!

The children walked several miles to grade school each way, including the snowy winter months. A rare winter treat was skiing to school if the road hadn’t been sanded yet, and they biked to school when the weather permitted. Speaking of bikes, Alice recounted her “painful” experience of learning to ride a bike, when her brother Allan let go of the bike as she descended down their sloping driveway, and she toppled over at the end of the driveway into her mother’s flower bed. She remembered her mother’s disapproval more than the battle scars!

Winter holiday traditions included Advent, the celebration of Saint Lucia, and Christmas. Advent, which marks the beginning of the Christmas season, begins four Sundays before Christmas. The merchants in Arvika would cover their display windows with sheets the Saturday before Advent and surprise the public with holiday wares that Sunday. Families would then walk the streets on Sunday, admiring the merchandise (while the boys and girls admired one another!)

On December 13, the Swedish celebrate Saint Lucia’s Day, the patron saint of light. December 13 also marks the beginning of Winter Solstice according to Swedish folklore. According to legend, Lucia was a brave young woman from the island of Sicily. Lucia, who died a martyr’s death, was widely admired for her courage, generosity and faith, and the Vikings carried the story back with them to Scandinavia.

To honor this Swedish tradition in Alice’s community, the eldest daughter of the house would make coffee, bake pastry (Lucia Buns), and sing the song of St. Lucia for her family that morning (and later, for teachers), honoring the ritual of bringing food during a famine. There was also a pageant along city streets, with a chosen Lucia wearing a white robe, red ribbons, and a candle crown on her head.

As for the Christmas tree, the Wallin family tradition was to cut down a tree before Christmas from their woods, but not until December 23. It was a tricky selection process, particularly if it had been snowing, because it was important to find a tree with straight branches to hold the candles (no, they did not have electric tree lights). Alice’s father was particularly gifted in finding just the right tree, and they never burned down the house!

Christmas presents were collected in one room and opened on Christmas Eve. If you were “very good,” Santa Claus might arrive in person to distribute gifts. On Christmas Day, community members went to church service in the morning when it was still dark outside. The church driveway was lighted with torches, and candles would illuminate the nearby gravestones to remember their dead. The lights were magical! Church services were followed by a hearty Christmas dinner.

Eighty four years and thousands of miles have separated Alice from her Swedish beginning. She moved to Chicago (where her mother’s cousin lived) in 1949 to “learn English” and unexpectedly fell in love and married an American, Robert Alman, less than a year later. Alice and Robert raised their three sons in a Chicago suburb before moving to rural Wisconsin, and Alice came to Santa Rosa after her husband passed to be near her son Bob and his family.

Today, you can find Alice ballroom dancing at the Santa Rosa Finley Center and other venues, three (or more) times per week. She has an energy and enthusiasm for life to be admired at any age.

May you find magic in your own holiday traditions!

In Honor of Veteran's Day... Proud to be of Service

An interview with Carl Ordwar of Santa Rosa

As Veteran's Day approaches, I chose to seek out a career veteran for my November column. Someone who served our country in times of both war and peacetime. Carl Ordwar, who was born in 1925, is a retired career Army veteran who represents these veterans: drafted at age 18, served in the Philippines during WWII, joined the National Guard a few years after returning to the mainland, served again in combat during the Korean War, and worked with civilian components after the war.

By the time Carl served in Korea, his perspective had changed significantly. First, he was older and wiser, and second, instead of simply following orders, he was now in charge of other soldiers (his highest rank was that of Master Sergeant). Serving in the US Army taught him how to respond in the moment to whatever presents itself. You do what you need to do, and move on. Serving his country in the US military has become an important part of who Carl Ordwan is today. He was devoted to his men, but also considered himself "one of the guys" rather than anyone special. He didn't hesitate to counsel soldiers to "get out" if they didn't like it, and mentored more than one of his less experienced ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corps) supervisors.

Carl recounted one such Second Lieutenant, right out of college, who bluntly told him, "Sergeant, I'm depending on you because I don't know a darn thing." Now that takes real courage on the part of the officer! Of course, Carl also worked with some inexperienced officers who thought they "knew everything" (and maybe they did--on paper at least), but in any vocation it's also wise to recognize the value of experience. Higher ranked officers generally recognized this as well, and told Carl to "straighten out" his boss on more than one occasion. Perhaps his most difficult interpersonal challenge was working with a new officer who had no humility whatsoever, and Carl was prepared to request a transfer if things didn't change. Ultimately, it was the young officer who was transferred. As in any people-intensive occupation, Carl learned the fundamentals of interpersonal communication during his Army experience: what to say, how and when to say it, and who to say it to.

Carl proudly told me about the love of his life, Jenness, who he met on the Love Boat (really!). A standing joke between them was that she "outranked him" when they met after the Korean War. Jenness was a reserve warrant officer and Carl was an active duty advisor to her reserve unit (an NCO). It didn't take long before sparks began to fly and they remained married until she passed away a few ago.

One of Carl's most memorable moments during wartime was when the troops were traveling by ship toward Japan at the end of WWII after the atomic bombs had been dropped. They had no idea what to expect from the Japanese people, but they were pleasantly surprised to find the Japanese military and civilians to be quite friendly. Carl surmised that when the Emperor announced the war was over, the Japanese honored this fact and accepted the troops in peace.

At age 84, Carl says he'd jump at the opportunity to rejoin the military if he could. He still misses being in the Service, and his military service and memories have truly become part of who he is today.

From Cattle Ranch to Coastal California

An interview with Nancy Alquist, Jenner, CA

Nancy Alquist was born in southeast Arizona in 1925 and lived her first ten years on her father’s cattle ranch. At age 10, her mother decided it was time to move into town so Nancy and her brother could “learn how to get along with other people our own age.” She graduated from high school in the small town of Douglas, AZ on the Mexican border. She then went on to college; first to a “finishing school” in Hollywood, California for junior college where her most vivid memory was of graduation when they marched in to the Triumphal March from Aida, rather than the expected Pomp and Circumstance tune. Nancy went on to complete her Bachelor’s degree at the University of Arizona in anthropology, thanks to the inspiration of a “magnificent professor who taught one class in ethnology,” providing Nancy with an educational framework for better understanding her experiences as a child, having grown up around three distinct cultures: Anglo-American, Mexican, and Yaqui Indian.

After graduation, Nancy moved back to Los Angeles, found clerical work, married for five years, and eventually discovered social work as a career to support herself and her son based on the advice of an “astute counselor” at the California Department of Employment. At one point, Nancy became disgruntled with the way she and other county employees were treated and she joined the efforts to bring the Service Employees International Union (SEIU) to the area in 1966. The main concerns of organizers such as Nancy were related to the lack of recognition and value placed on the work they were doing in the field. Core values Nancy was raised with were to work hard, do the right thing, and in turn you could expect decent treatment and fair compensation; yet she knew this wasn’t happening. Prior to collective bargaining, Nancy described their annual process of “collective begging” as going to the board of supervisors to beg for an increase in allocated funds. Written job descriptions and expectations at that time did not reflect actual field experiences, and field workers were not allowed to provide input to more accurately reflect their reality. For one thing, the field of social work at the time didn’t take into consideration cultural differences that were very much a reality among client families in L.A. County. Also, employees had no medical insurance, the civil service rules were not necessarily followed, and some employees received less compensation than comparably sized families on welfare. Eventually, the union made a difference in all these areas.

Nancy’s life changed abruptly when her mother had a stroke and Nancy returned to Arizona to care for her. Like herself, Nancy’s mother was an independent spirited woman, and the role reversal was a bit of an adjustment. She eventually found a good caregiver and was able to return to L.A. where she embarked on a 10 year active volunteer career for the American Red Cross. Her first relief effort was back in Arizona after the Tucson flood of 1983, and her last assignment was in the Caribbean after Hurricane Hugo.

When Nancy’s son and daughter in law moved to Northern California in 1988, they helped her look for affordable investment property on the California Coast and found a 40+ acre property to purchase near Jenner. After a series of health issues, Nancy moved to this property a decade later, and she still resides there. It’s not a cattle ranch, but it’s definitely rural! Since then, she has struggled with other health issues, including a significant bout with pneumonia which required surgery and extended rehabilitation at Golden Living Center in Santa Rosa. She couldn’t say enough good things about the therapy staff there, stating “they interviewed and tested me to find out what I could do and encouraged me to do something daily, but didn’t push me beyond what I was capable of doing.” She was equally pleased with the care she received at a local residential care home, Elsa’s, where she continued her recovery under 24 hour supervision until she was able to safely return to her home just weeks ago. Nancy admitted feeling some concern when social workers initially approached her about the idea, because she recalled a rather “grim” experience at a care home back in her social work days when she visited a disabled client. Fortunately, her recent experience was “180 degrees different; the complete opposite.” She described “friendly, fantastic” caregivers and “very well prepared, balanced” meals. Other residents were also “fun” company at meal times, while maintaining a sense of independence and privacy at other times, which she appreciated.

Despite her own experience with aging parents, Nancy openly admits she didn’t connect her experience with aging parents to her own reality today, and her son still worries about her despite having in-home care. Her advice for other seniors is to “find some means of comprehending what’s going to happen down the line” and discuss future care needs and options with family members because “it will never happen to me” thinking is unrealistic, particularly as we live longer and lack the extended family living arrangements of prior generations (and some other cultures). She also encourages people to keep their bodies and minds healthy to avoid some of the preventable problems associated with aging. Nancy keeps her mind active by reading, computer games, and the World Wide Web. Yes, she’s a self-described “computer illiterate” but has a computer and regularly searches the Web, which is up and running most of the time thanks to Sonic.net!

Nancy also encourages other retirees to apply their work skills in some form of volunteerism. “It gives you a reason to get up every day and get out of the house. You’re doing and learning something worthwhile, and particularly in our country where we’re being exposed to different cultures every day. So much is fascinating!”

One of Nancy’s primary guiding values is to respect other human beings who earn respect. Not because of culture, skin color or language, but because of the way they behave; their moral conduct. She lives up to her own moral standard and is clearly a survivor, having survived numerous medical challenges. Nancy has a contagious enthusiasm for life and living, which is wise, indeed!

Lois Parks, Tomales CA Historian

An interview with Lois Parks
Tomales, CA Historian

Lois Parks was born in Rochester, NY on October 16, 1919 and embarked on a 6 ½ yr adventure in Suifu, China with her Baptist missionary parents at the age of 10 months. Her father, a Baptist pastor, established churches in China while her mother raised Lois and her two siblings, both of whom were born in China. Lois’ most vivid early memory was when two local war lords began fighting in the mountainous area where they vacationed during the summer months, and they were briefly separated from their father in the pouring rain as he arranged transportation via river boat back to Suifu.

The row boat they used to access the river boat had no oars, so they had to pull up floor boards to use as paddles!

Upon returning to the U.S., Lois’ family moved every 2-3 years based on her father’s parish assignments. She graduated from Tamalpais High School, commuting from Fairfax daily via train, and attended Marin Junior College one year before the family relocated to the Monterey peninsula and she completed her AA degree at Salinas Junior College. Lois then found work and paid her way through college at the University of Redlands, where she received a BA degree in English. With the war in the Pacific escalating, her parents decided to move from Monterey County to Oregon, and she followed them briefly after becoming engaged to her “true love,” Roy Parks, whom she had met at Marin Junior College. Roy worked for his father, a chicken rancher in Tomales, and in 1943 Lois became a rancher’s wife and active in civic affairs. The ranch’s direct contribution to the WWII war effort was to ship chicken eggs to Australia.

The Parks’ chickens were free range, and when ranchers popularized the practice of raising chickens in cages, the Parks family switched to raising sheep because they disagreed with the practice. History has a way of repeating itself! Roy also attended courses in pasture development and animal husbandry at UC Davis, while involving their four children in 4-H.

Meanwhile, when Lois’ oldest son, Bob, started school, she became a local school board trustee and served in that capacity for the next 15 years. Never one to stay idle, Lois was also the choir director and organist for the local Presbyterian Church. When the State Board of Education tried to consolidate school districts with fewer than 1000 students, she and others spent 10 years trying to get the state to allow them to vote on maintaining an independent Tomales Unified High School District. Once approved by the State, Lois reports that the ballot measure passed the first time it was proposed, and the district continues to this day.

Another one of Lois’ projects was the Tomales Regional History Center, which she and others started at the grammar school in 1977 and moved to the former high school auditorium in the late 1990s after numerous fundraisers. The History Center includes a visual and oral history of the geographic area from Point Reyes to Bodega Bay. Historically, this was a dairy and potato growing region, and boats traveled up Tomales Bay from San Francisco to bring these products to the City.

After Lois’ husband died in 1981, her boys continued to worked the ranch and Lois began to travel with either her sister or a close friend who shares her interest in genealogy. Lois stayed at the ranch until about four years ago, when she moved into town to be near her daughter, Sharon, and then to Santa Rosa earlier this year. Her most memorable trip was back to her childhood home in China which remained much as she remembered it (including the family home, which had since been taken over by the Government). In the past three decades, Lois has traveled to China (2x), Europe (3x), Australia, the Caribbean, and throughout the continental U.S.

Reflecting on the pace of change during her lifetime, Lois openly wonders if children today have the opportunity to fully enjoy the simple pleasures in life she enjoyed growing up, observing that it “seems to take so much to entertain them.” She also wonders if children are being challenged enough. For example, it’s almost too easy to find the answers to questions via the internet at the push of a button without having to research the answers yourself. Of course, she also appreciates technology advances, such as being able to instantaneously send letters to her friends via email, and was able to experience her granddaughter’s wedding in Southern California via Skype when she couldn’t be there in person.

Lois’ advice for the children of today: (1) you can’t learn too much; (2) take time for simple pleasures; and (3) keep smiling and think on the bright side.

Now, that’s Upbeat wisdom at any age!