Prepared for the future, despite life's challenges

Martin Feibusch, 95, has made the most of life circumstances and turned challenges into opportunities.  Born in Germany on March 6, 1918, his Jewish parents were forced to physically separate the family in 1933 under the Hitler regime, sending a daughter to Palestine and Martin to San Francisco to live with his uncle.  His mother and brother were given 30 days to leave the country, and traveled via Sweden to find safe harbor in England.  Martin's father stayed behind in Germany and was sent to a concentration camp on the infamous "Crystal Night" in 1938.  He eventually escaped and joined his wife in London.  Adding to the stress and uncertainty of the time, Martin's uncle, Moritz Feibusch, a food broker with offices England, was one of the 13 passengers killed in the Hindenburg Airship disaster in 1937.

Moving to San Francisco in 1933 was a trying time for both this rebellious teenager and his Uncle Moritz, who thought he was welcoming a 6 year old into his home!  Fortunately, Martin soon met a wonderful family who treated him like one of their own, and in fact became extended family when Martin married their daughter, Constance, seven years after they first met.  Martin and Connie moved up their wedding date after the attack on Pearl Harbor, and Martin was drafted just seven weeks after the wedding.  He served in the US Army for 3 1/2 years in England, Africa and Italy, and participated in three invasions.  When he returned home, Martin's father had a vacant apartment ready for the couple in San Francisco.  They waited until after Martin's parents were able to join them in California in 1947 before starting a family; they have two sons.  Martin and Connie moved a total of 17 times on the SF Peninsula as he opened toy and gift stores.  His final business operation was a hand crafted wooden toy manufacturing company.  Throughout his working life, Martin was active in organizations such as the Santa Cruz Ave. Merchants Association, and ran the local Christmas parade.

Retiring at 64, Martin wanted to keep his mind active so he became more deeply involved in the life-long hobby of stamp collecting he began at age 8.  After convincing Connie to also retire, Martin and Connie went on a seven week "stamp safari," traveling across the United States during the week and attending stamp shows on the weekends, always following a different route.  He became interested in exhibiting his work and won numerous awards over time.  Martin and Connie also developed lasting friendships with other stamp collectors and historians, including the chief curator of the postal museum at the Smithsonian Institute.  His collection includes over 400 envelopes (called 'covers') from the first flight of the Hindenberg.  He also stays involved in his living community and looks out for the welfare of all.

Recalling my own father's interest in stamp collecting, I developed a newfound appreciation of this hobby as Martin described his passion.  According to Wikipedia, stamp collecting is still one of the most popular indoor hobbies, with over 200 million collectors worldwide!  In stamp collecting, Martin notices the printing, design, and watermark on the stamp which he purchases at auctions and through friends.    He also considers himself a postal historian; he tracks the mail routing and finds that the contents of letters are sometimes more interesting than the stamp itself.

Martin's proclaimed secret to success is his 71 year marriage.  Connie and her family have always been very supportive of him.  He also believes that keeping his mind and body active have kept him vibrant into his 90s.  Martin is not a participant in the technology revolution and does not use a computer.  He still uses manual spreadsheets to track his investments, and does just fine!  

His advice for today's youth and working adults: plan for your retirement and your future, because it doesn't come automatically.  In today's uncertain economy and world, that's wise advice, indeed.  

Family Man...celebrating Father's Day

 Ernie Frandsen was born on Easter Sunday in 1930 and spent his early years living in Berkeley. After attending seven schools by seventh grade due to his father's job assignments for a mortuary, the family settled in Healdsburg where his father started his own business and Ernie quickly found work for McGill's Market at the young age of 13.  One of Ernie's favorite memories growing up in Healdsburg was the band concert that was held in the plaza on Saturday nights, after chores were done.  When he was growing up, prunes were a major crop in Healdsburg, and the start of school in the fall was delayed if the harvest was late. 

Ernie's grandparents on both sides of the family were his mentors, supplying a strong foundation and reliability he knew he could trust.  They also gave him a sense of independence with firmness when needed. He recalled one day when he had to race home from school in the pouring rain to get to work on time.  His grandfather had driven to school so he could give young Ernie a ride home, but Ernie refused so the elder simply followed this miserably drenched youth home (undoubtedly with a smile on his face!)  Grandparents and extended family were included in every holiday.  Their memories are also carefully placed throughout the house, including the artistic metal work of his grandfather, a blacksmith who immigrated from Denmark.

From the minute I met this inviting man, I knew why a mutual friend, Evelyn, recommended Ernie Frandsen as an interview candidate for my June (Father's Day) column.  Ernie and his wife Marilyn must have been quite a team.  These Healdsburg High sweethearts married after high school and Ernie leased and operated his own small grocery store in Healdsburg before they started their family of four daughters in their early 20s.  Ernie spent 9 years working at this "Night and Sunday" store on highway 101 (i.e. he worked days, nights, and Sundays/holidays!) that stayed open until 9 PM daily at a time when other stores closed at 6 and on Sundays.  Ernie continued running the store until his mother, who had MS, became very ill and his father asked him to help with his mortuary business in Healdsburg and Cloverdale.  Ernie eventually took over the family business until his retirement in 1997.

Marilyn loved being a mother and kept the home fires burning to balance their work/family partnership: cooking, baking and sewing most of the girls' clothing.  After the children had left home, Ernie recalled going out to dinner with Marilyn and being disappointed in the food (so you know she was a good cook)! Even though he worked "all the time," family came first.   Ernie came home after work at bedtime in those early years and always tucked the girls in.  They now fondly remind him that he tucked the sheets a bit too tight!  The family's annual vacations were special times together.  Gualala or camping in Van Damme State Park were two popular treks. They also made monthly trips to Santa Rosa to shop and to San Francisco a few times per year. 

The delight Ernie Frandsen feels about family is visually displayed in photographs and mementos throughout his Cloverdale home, and in his detailed descriptions of his four daughters, ten grandchildren, and seven great grandchildren.  Raising four girls was "fun," according to Ernie; the Frandsen's provided their children with various opportunities from music to 4H and animals to raise on their 5 acre parcel.  After Marilyn's death in 1999, Ernie moved from Healdsburg to a smaller house they owned in Cloverdale.  He also still owns a home in Fort Bragg on the coast that he tries to visit with one of his daughters monthly.

Not one to show favoritism, Ernie described the unique talents of each of his daughters who are each "special in her own way."  Claudia, the oldest, always wanted to be a teacher, and retired from the position of Cloverdale Unified School Superintendent last year. Marjorie is retired from the Sonoma County planning department.  Elaine works for a veterinarian and there's "nothing she can't do."  Rebecca, the youngest, currently teaches pre-kindergarten in Cloverdale.  He's equally enthusiastic about his grandchildren and great-grandchildren; his current service work as a member of the Cloverdale Kiwanis Club, with the mission of "Serving the children of the world," reinforces this man's strong commitment to children and helping others.

As a touching example of this father's devotion and family ties, Claudia's first birthday away from family was just last month.  So Dad sent her four cards: the first said "Happy Birthday;" the second, "party;" the third, "flowers;" and the fourth, "cake."  Money was enclosed in each envelope to accompany the sentiment.

Happy Father's Day, Ernie!

P.S. Thanks for the jam!

66 years of coaching, and still going strong

Marion Kane Elston, born Marion Olson, grew up in San Francisco and started swimming on the Russian River at age 3 near the family's summer home.   By age 13, she started coaching the younger girls on her San Francisco competitive swim team, Crystal Punch, to perform in their annual "Crystal Cades" fund-raising water show, and by age 16 she was coaching all the girls for this annual off-season performance.  

After attending the University of Hawaii and teaching elementary school in San Mateo, Marion married and was hired in 1954 by the San Francisco Recreation Department to coach synchronized swimming four hours per week for $2.75/hour.  That team's success grew into the San Francisco Merionettes and the team received the first national championship title in 1960 followed by 19 consecutive high point titles, not to mention numerous other individual and team awards.

Fast forward to 1981, when Marion was inducted into the International Swimming Hall of Fame.  According to the IHSOF website, Marion was "one of the most successful coaches in any sport" and "the world's first great synchronized swimming coach" who "did most to create the quality and class that gave her sport the world recognition that led to World Championships and Olympic acceptance."   Now, 66 years after her humble coaching beginnings, Marion is still going strong at her pool in Santa Rosa's Rincon Valley, Oak Park, with students ranging in age from 6 to 89!

While Marion is best known for her gifts at coaching synchronized swimming, having developed 51 National AAU Synchronized Swimming champions with 303 first place national and international awards by 1981, she has also coached volleyball, track and field, kick ball, and boys soccer, and has no particular favorite.  When asked what led her to coaching other girls on her competitive team, she simply replied, "you just do it" when you're asked to.  Her own success as an athlete began quite unexpectedly: at age 10, her older sister  was the one who wanted to swim competitively and she tagged along.    But it was Marion who went on to participate in 13 Senior National meets and become an Olympic Team finalist. 

What is it that makes Marion such a great coach?  First, she understands the basic elements of body movement, and credits both this understanding and intuitiveness in being able to pick out the elements that will "get to the heart of what will make someone better."   She says the underlying cause of a problem in sports is often speed, design, or control.  She also enjoys the challenge of coaching, sees talent in people of all ages, and believes every person she coaches has unique qualities which can be improved upon.   She simply meets her students where they are and  "matches their motivation" to improve.

Marion also credits her parents, Ethyl and Ed Olson, for supporting her athletic and  coaching careers. Her mother, Ethyl , was the "bedrock of the family"  and her father, Ed, became assistant manager of the 1968 Olympic Swim Team  and president of the local AAU.

 

The Olsons also helped finance Marion's purchase of Oak Park Swim Club in 1973, a family-friendly local pool and tennis club, which allowed her to continue coaching while raising her four children.  In her spare time, Marion also recruited/choreographed 36 former students to perform in the 1975 movie "Funny Lady," and Oak Park became the headquarters of the Marion L. Kane International Synchro School where she coached athletes from around the world from 1974-1982.  She also produced professional water shows at the World's Fair in New Orleans (1984) and Brisbane (1988); and another show in Hong Kong (1990). 

With 66 years of experience, one change Marion has noticed in the students she coaches in all age groups is that there's so much going on in people's lives now that it's harder to get her students to slow their minds down, feel their bodies, and focus on the task at hand.  Children today seem to expect "instant success," but Marion stresses that it takes time to perfect new skills. 

Marion Kane Elston is clearly passionate about what she does, and believes you should keep doing what you love to do.  I'll take that as a stated intention to keep coaching for years to come (lucky for her students...including myself!) 

In the words of this Wise Elder and gifted coach, if you enjoy it, regardless of your age, "just do it!"  In fact, why not head out to Oak Park, and perhaps you can make your own synchro dreams a reality?  At age 90, Marion's most senior swimmer is also a national champion, Barbara Brown of Napa, who was so inspired in her mid-50s to do just that!

Holidays Gone By

Growing up in Sweden, with Alice Alfonso

Alice Alfonso was born Ellen Maria Alice Wallin in Arvika, Sweden near the Norwegian border, and lived in the neighboring farming village of Speked through secondary school. Her grandfather, and then father, ran the local newspaper, the Arvika News, while her mother managed the small farm where she was raised. Her parents seemed to have worked out a pact, blending city and country life. Her father always wore a suit and tie, except when walking in the woods (he took off his suit coat and tie on those occasions), which became a welcome Sunday afternoon tradition. Her mother worked the farm with their four cows, chickens, and sheep, although she always seemed to have her head in a book when she wasn’t milking a cow!

Alice’s first school experience was a one room school house with 15 children in grades 1-5 (there was only one other student in her first grade class). She discovered that you can learn a lot more in this setting than in a more traditional setting, since the younger children don’t “shut off their ears” when the teacher is teaching astronomy to older students, for example. The teaching method must have worked, because she passed her middle school entrance exam with flying colors!

The children walked several miles to grade school each way, including the snowy winter months. A rare winter treat was skiing to school if the road hadn’t been sanded yet, and they biked to school when the weather permitted. Speaking of bikes, Alice recounted her “painful” experience of learning to ride a bike, when her brother Allan let go of the bike as she descended down their sloping driveway, and she toppled over at the end of the driveway into her mother’s flower bed. She remembered her mother’s disapproval more than the battle scars!

Winter holiday traditions included Advent, the celebration of Saint Lucia, and Christmas. Advent, which marks the beginning of the Christmas season, begins four Sundays before Christmas. The merchants in Arvika would cover their display windows with sheets the Saturday before Advent and surprise the public with holiday wares that Sunday. Families would then walk the streets on Sunday, admiring the merchandise (while the boys and girls admired one another!)

On December 13, the Swedish celebrate Saint Lucia’s Day, the patron saint of light. December 13 also marks the beginning of Winter Solstice according to Swedish folklore. According to legend, Lucia was a brave young woman from the island of Sicily. Lucia, who died a martyr’s death, was widely admired for her courage, generosity and faith, and the Vikings carried the story back with them to Scandinavia.

To honor this Swedish tradition in Alice’s community, the eldest daughter of the house would make coffee, bake pastry (Lucia Buns), and sing the song of St. Lucia for her family that morning (and later, for teachers), honoring the ritual of bringing food during a famine. There was also a pageant along city streets, with a chosen Lucia wearing a white robe, red ribbons, and a candle crown on her head.

As for the Christmas tree, the Wallin family tradition was to cut down a tree before Christmas from their woods, but not until December 23. It was a tricky selection process, particularly if it had been snowing, because it was important to find a tree with straight branches to hold the candles (no, they did not have electric tree lights). Alice’s father was particularly gifted in finding just the right tree, and they never burned down the house!

Christmas presents were collected in one room and opened on Christmas Eve. If you were “very good,” Santa Claus might arrive in person to distribute gifts. On Christmas Day, community members went to church service in the morning when it was still dark outside. The church driveway was lighted with torches, and candles would illuminate the nearby gravestones to remember their dead. The lights were magical! Church services were followed by a hearty Christmas dinner.

Eighty four years and thousands of miles have separated Alice from her Swedish beginning. She moved to Chicago (where her mother’s cousin lived) in 1949 to “learn English” and unexpectedly fell in love and married an American, Robert Alman, less than a year later. Alice and Robert raised their three sons in a Chicago suburb before moving to rural Wisconsin, and Alice came to Santa Rosa after her husband passed to be near her son Bob and his family.

Today, you can find Alice ballroom dancing at the Santa Rosa Finley Center and other venues, three (or more) times per week. She has an energy and enthusiasm for life to be admired at any age.

May you find magic in your own holiday traditions!