With a little help from mom...and other mentors

Sylvia (Gross) Sucher will celebrate her 101st birthday on July 13, 2013 in Santa Rosa.   Like most stories, hers is one that "didn't come out the way you write the script," according to this former english teacher.

The eldest of three children born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, Sylvia started overcoming obstacles at age 4 when she developed polio.  Her mother would not let her feel sorry for herself and saw it as a challenge to overcome and made sure Sylvia did the exercises she needed to regain strength.  Her mother also became the primary family wage-earner when Sylvia's father suffered "nervous breakdowns" and multiple hospitalizations throughout her childhood.  As an enterprising woman, Mrs. Gross opened a grocery store where the family lived in three small rooms in the back of the store.  Sylvia recalled her mother getting up at 5:30 each morning to accept 30-gallon cans of milk she would wheel into the store. Back then, patrons would bring quart-size pitchers or cans to fill up for their families.

The baby of the family, Rosalie, was born when Sylvia was 14, and her mother arranged for Sylvia to leave school at noon to be her "assistant."  She always made Sylvia feel like she had a very important job to do and was truly making a difference.  Despite this expectation, her mother was very committed to Sylvia's education and supported her  continuing education at Brooklyn College despite the predominant attitude at the time that a woman shouldn't go to college.  However, the tides were beginning to change on the brink of World War II and Mother was out in front of the pack!

Sylvia strongly believes that to succeed in life, "no one does it alone."  She feels blessed to have had many mentors along the way, her mother first and foremost.  Another was the person who gave Sylvia the opportunity to run the small campus bookstore at Brooklyn College while she was still in school.  She ultimately developed it into a good sized business during her tenure as the manager before going on to become a high school english and speech teacher.

As fate would have it, shortly after college graduation Sylvia was asked by the Dean of Women if she would give a young man in her class a job at the bookstore who had graduated Summa Cum Laude in Physics, but was unable to find work at that time.  She started him at .$50/hour.  Eventually this young man became a physics professor at Brooklyn Polytechnic Institute.  His name was Max Sucher and, you guessed it, also became Sylvia's husband.  She fondly remembers him as a very well rounded human being who loved not only science/math but also literature, classical music and poetry. 

As Sylvia prepared for her teaching career, she got her first real taste of prejudice, balanced with a guiding light.   Despite the fact that New York City was a point of entry to the United States and a melting pot of cultures and ethnicities, the board of education had clear biases against Jewish teachers, making it that much harder to pass the required oral exam due to their particular accent. Sylvia fortunately had a wonderful teacher she remembers to this day, Margaret McCarthy, who knew the odds and sent her to an experienced speech coach before the exam.  She passed!

Max and Sylvia had a wonderful life together raising their two daughters until his death in his late 60s, after both girls had left home.  Her family encouraged Sylvia to migrate west to California's Sonoma County to live near her daughter, Elizabeth, who had an infant daughter herself.  So westward she went, quickly adapted to her new surroundings, and developed a strong network of friends over time.  Sadly, in another twist of fate, Elizabeth inexplicably developed lung cancer shortly after she had been promoted to a deanship in the english department at Santa Rosa Junior College, and died when Sylvia's granddaughter was still a small child.  This was a very "jarring" experience for Sylvia with her family support system so far away, but she adjusted over time and remains in Sonoma County to this day.  According to Sylvia, "the living have to live," and so she lived on.

Reflecting on her life and what to pass on, Sylvia reiterated much of what she learned from her own mother:  Be prepared, stand your ground, but don't expect to get through life on some trick.  If you know what you want, don't let someone trample you or use anti-whatever (hostility) of the moment to pull you down.  Fight your way through.  Don't feel sorry for yourself, even if you do have problems.  No one likes to listen to complaining.  Reach out to others and show genuine interest in them.  They will then want to be around you and be there for you, too.

Sylvia, I'm sure those won't be your last words of wisdom.  Thank you!